Lyrics

Dear valued customer,
Or current resident,
We hope this finds you and any dependents well.
We know it’s been a long time, so forgive us,
As we attempt to mend the sails of the relationship,
That we may or may not even have.
Speaking of sales…

Our records indicate you’re not opposed,
To killer rates on baby clothes, collegiate throws,
Or a miniature hand-dipped frozen beater from the new cake batter bar.
It’s so cold in our hearts.
Our sugar-free conversation hearts are breaking,
Into tiny pieces, without you.

Buy low. Sell loud.
Bust doors and beat the crowd.
Because you’re wise.
We come bearing gifts to keep you happy.
Gifts to make you all forget who runs the show.
But don’t forget who runs the show.

We couldn’t help but overhear,
You wondered how old Richard Gere was back in 1993.
Other people who watched And the Band Played On,
Also like Matthew Modine.
And books about the Cold War.
If you like cold Frigidaire doors that chop ice,
Into tiny pieces, we’ve got you.

And we’ll always have Paris, Texas, On Criterion Collection.
New Oasis albums when they finally go on pre-sale.
There are many things that we would like to say to you,
But we don’t know how to embed them in an email.
It’s no big mystery.
We love you and we just can’t read your mind.
Oh, but just you give us time.
We’ve got these cookies,
And it’d be a shame to let them go to waste.
Speaking of cookies going to your waist…

Our algorithm scored,
That lingerie at your front door,
One point one-two out of four.
If you really want to see,
Other people you should see the people at the Peloton store.
You can run but you can’t hide.
Why not do it in style while you glide.
There’s no escaping.
You belong to us. We’ve got you.